Misfits & Mistletoe
by little furry cannibals
Summary: Spirit journeys are mystical and rare. However, they aren't always what they seem. A Christmas tale you won't ever forget! Probably not even with bleach.


A/N: A one shot entry for the JBNP contest "All I want for Christmas". Beta'd by blueboarderchick. Pre-read by sfiddy and jul5857.

* * *

Seth POV

When Bella had returned from her honeymoon with Edward, knocked up, the pack had been in shock and the Elders furious. Our treaty with the Cullens had stipulated that should one of the vegetarians 'bite" a human, the treaty became null and voided. This was based on the sole assurance that vampirism could only be transmitted this way and that the Cullens were agreeing to not "change" anyone or cause a death. Edward's demon seed threw that theory right out the damn window as Bella was slowly dying by an internal infection he had implanted.

Carlisle and Edward had both pleaded with us; they wanted to expunge Bella of the problem, but she had other ideas. Jake had to be physically restrained throughout the whole meeting. Whether or not Edward had or hadn't known of the repercussions, he was still responsible for this grand mistake and risked a complete violation of the treaty if this couldn't be solved so that Bella lived.

The pack waited outside the Cullen mansion when Edward delivered the verbal death blow to Bella.

"Edward," Bella whispered faintly. "How did the meeting go? Sam understands this was an accident, right? You didn't violate the treaty."

"Bella, I…yes. Sam and the pack know this was unintentional, but the facts remain the same: By us being intimate, I have not only gotten you pregnant, but have infected an innocent child."

"You don't know what will happen, Edward. Even Carlisle can't guess as to what may or may not happen and he's a doctor."

"Love, we're both doctors and have discussed it at length. Every hour, you diminish more and more and when it comes time to give birth, you will be too weak to safely deliver. There is no choice; we must abort now."

Their argument had gotten fuzzy and confusing. Bella thought Edward was rejecting her again and in a way, he was. Jake stiffened every time she passed out, her breathing rough and shallow from both emotions and pregnancy. It only took a little over an hour for her to agree to allow Carlisle to perform surgery. The deciding words were when Edward asked if she could be so selfish to endanger not only herself, but all of the Cullens. Apparently some militant-vamp group called the Volturi was pro-death; any other option wasn't a choice to be had and they would take out everyone if Bella produced some half-breed.

The procedure, from what we could hear, was a dirty job. Even the head vamp sounded like he wanted to gag a few times and that had to be something, coming from a creature that treated patients during plague incidents.

*&^^*(

I woke up gasping and clutching my hip. It felt bruised and painful, but when I looked at it, there wasn't any type of mark to indicate a wound. Absently, I rubbed the spot before detangling myself from the bed sheets and finding some clothes.

Lately, I had been dreaming more and more awful thoughts concerning Jake, Bella and vampires. None of it made sense. The Cullens had never come back; Bella sure as hell wasn't pregnant with a spawn hybrid, at least not by a vamp; and Jake had been living on cloud nine ever since Bella realized he was her true path and that she could love him as much, If not more so, than she had Cullen. This Christmas would mark their third year anniversary of being together and their second year anniversary of being married.

While searching in a clothes basket for something to wear, my alarm clock radio turned on, blaring out holiday tunes. "All I want for Christmas" began playing and I nearly fell over in laughter as I remembered the first Christmas I had spent as a wolf.

Shortly before Bella had exclaimed her romantic love for Jake, she had distanced herself and Jake was a basket case. In order to cheer his friend up, Quil decided Christmas carols were a cure-all and began singing every version, ever made of "Jingle Bells". Somewhere around hour six of his caterwauling project, Paul sought Quil out and punched him in the face, knocking out several teeth. Paul promised Quil he wouldn't take another swing if Quil promised to sing a variation of songs, none of which would be Jingle-bells. It only took a day for Quil's teeth to grow back, but Paul was much more amused at listening to Quil sing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" with an authentic lisp.

Making my way downstairs, I heard the angry voice of my sister, Leah, and Sam, the ex-boyfriend and ex-alpha. I knew they could hear me, but that wasn't a deterrent for my sister. Not much was.

"Damn it, Sam! I don't give a fuck. You know how to break it and refuse to tell us. As first Alpha, you were taught secrets and never once bothered to pass along that bit of information. As much as I hate having a tail, I can live with it. I actually find it humorous when a guy realizes I can take as good as I give. The BDSN world has never been so appealing." _T.M.I., sis._ "My brother, on the other hand, wants the fuck out and goddamn it, you better tell him fucking how!"

Mentally I cringed. Ever since Jared had joked about breaking the spell of being a werewolf, my life had been slightly unpleasant. I never thought about not being one until I had learned that…

"Leah, we've been over this," Sam explained. "The only way to stop phasing is to imprint. Without that connection, the wolf inside stays."

Did I find it corny that only true love would allow a wolf to stop phasing? Yep and so did my sister, Leah.

"Bullshit, Sam. Even in mythological horrors, there is always more than one way out. Don't you dare stand there and try to convince me that isn't so."

Wearily, I stepped into the kitchen, trying to stay out of the cross fire. Sis had to be in a particularly bitchy mood to have Sam crawl his ass out of bed this early. Neither of them even glanced at me as I poured some cereal into a mixing bowl and added a quart of milk. Grabbing a clean tablespoon from the dish rack on the counter, I walked over to the table and plopped down to eat.

"Seth," my sister barked, as I tried to drown my notice in Fruity-O's. "Is it true that you no longer want to be a werewolf?"

Shit, she knew it was. Not necessarily a life-long ambition or anything, but it would be nice not to be stuck on the rez for fear of an outsider noticing you hadn't aged. However, arguing about it with the pack wouldn't solve anything.

Sighing heavily, I tried to express disinterest. "Ahh, Leah. Come on. It's not even ten a.m. yet and I haven't eaten. Can this wait?"

"No, it can't. There's a time frame for this shit and if it's gonna happen, it needs to be soon." Glaring at Sam, she waited for him to argue her logic, which he did. We'd been through this many times.

"Let it go, Leah. Seth doesn't need you goading him into something he doesn't really want."

"See! I knew it. There is a way out of it and you know what it is."

"I didn't say that, Leah. You're taking this out of context and-"

"Shut it, Uley! I demand we convene tonight so you can unload this crap and let Seth have some peace." Leaning down in front of him, she practically spit in his face. "You owe me. I'm not asking this for myself, but Seth deserves better. As a tribe elder, you should want better for your people. Don't make me out to be the selfish bitch because I want to see my brother succeed in life."

Both Sam and I just stared at her. I knew my sister loved me, but I never would have pegged her as this caring. Sam continued to stare at her as he thought about what she had requested. I almost snorted; it wasn't like Sam doubled as a love god and could make me fall in love with someone to be break the werewolf trait. I nearly dropped my spoon when he did finally speak. Only it wasn't to Leah.

"Seth, are you sure about this? The trial to be endured is neither easy nor pleasant. We can tell you how, but you must make this journey alone."

Spirit journeys were not that common anymore. Hell, as a wolf what more did we need to discover? I knew enough about myself and everyone else to cover several lifetimes. Yet here he was, offering me something no one else had ever thought possible. _Merry Christmas to me._

Continuing to pretend this was a serious decision for me, I slowly twirled my spoon in the air before answering. "Yeah, Sam, I get it. But I never asked for this and if I can be relieved without having to wait for an imprint, I'd rather do that."

"Fine. We will all meet tonight at the beach. I'll see you then." Without another word, Sam left our house. My Fruity-O's were pretty mushy by this point and I tried to finish them off quickly. Leah sat at the other end of the table, smirking.

"I knew that asshat would cave," Leah gloated. Her smirk died down and she impatiently blew at a few loose strands of hair in her face. "Don't worry, Seth. Soon, all of this will feel like a figment of your imagination."

The bonfire was late, unexpected and unnoticeable to anyone who wasn't an Elder or werewolf. Most people had enough common sense not to be on the beach at nine o'clock in the evening mid-December except for the above mentioned.

Jake, Jared, Paul, Quil, Embry, Sam, Billy, Quil Sr., and my mom, Sue were all present when Leah and I showed up. The guys were talking softly to each other while the Elders all huddled in thick wraps with quickly cooling mugs of coffee gripped in their gloved hands.

Leah and I took a seat amidst the rough circle of people, waiting for Sam or Billy to start talking. Even though our mom was an Elder, only a select few would be aware of the knowledge I sought. Mom cleared her throat and the talking died down while our attention was drawn to her.

"Leah, dear, I know you wish to make sure your brother is told everything he needs to be and he will. But your presence is not allowed for this just like Brady and Collin are also not present."

"Wait just a damn minute. If this concerns being a wolf, then I sure as hell am staying. I don't see you asking Paul, Jared or Quil to leave and I have more investment in this than they do."

"Leah, we understand you think this is some sort of conspiracy, but it isn't," Jake explained, surprising me. Earlier, Leah had implied that Sam knew how to break imprinting but now it seemed like Jake did too. The transfer of Alpha-ship probably confused the hell out of the spirits and I had to wonder if maybe this really wouldn't work.

Jake continued his reasoning to Leah. "The only wolves present are the imprinted ones. As a safety measure, each one holds a piece of the mystery to share with Seth. Sam, being the first Alpha, was granted the know-how of accessing it from us to pass to Seth. The Elders will conduct a ceremonial circle while Sam and Seth sit inside, phased. One by one, we will enter the circle, share our thoughts and then go home. Your presence will disrupt the aura around us and prohibit the secrets from being shared. Sam wasn't kidding; this is neither easy, nor a free knowledge. The Elders will not know what has been said and once a wolf leaves the circle, he will have forgotten what was shared, including Sam. Only Seth will retain what he needs to know. When it's completed, he too will be wiped clean of what transpired."

Sam must have talked to Jake, in depth, about what was needed to make this work. I was impressed; my sister….

"Well, if that isn't the biggest bunch of shit I've heard. What would have happened if one of you hadn't imprinted? Seth would only get part of the details, he needs?" Leah asked, still looking for a loop-hole to stay. I hadn't noticed it before, but maybe imprinting mellowed a wolf out. I was jittery and Leah was close to erupting into a full-fledged crazy bitch. The rest of the pack just lounged about, not the least bit upset over her ranting.

"Leah, it's more metaphysical than that," Jacob insisted, still wearing a divine smile. "The spirits can't physically appear to us, but when we sleep they are able to give us certain…facts. The information is unknown to us unless summoned from within the circle. If there were more or less imprinted wolves the knowledge would be divided accordingly. If Sam were the only wolf to have imprinted, none of this would be an issue as the change would be too soon for a member to want out." The rest of the pack nodded their heads in agreement at Jake's explanation. It seemed a little out there for me, but then so did the ability to twitch and rotate my ears and yet I did that at least four times a day. Who was I to argue with logic?

It didn't take long for Leah to realize she wasn't going to be able to stay and if she did, I may not get my wish. "You know what? Fine, keep your little wolfman club here; I'm leaving."

The ceremony began shortly after Leah's departure. Having no idea what to expect, I was pretty damn nervous about the whole ordeal despite not wanting to be a wolf anymore. The Elders quickly spaced evenly around a blue-green circle they made with some sort of salt and herbs. None of the guys said anything to me as we made our way into the forest to strip and phase. The chanting began and Sam indicated for me to follow him while the remaining wolves sat ten yards away from the circle.

Pausing just outside the circle, Sam waited as the Elders continued to chant. I knew they were speaking Quileute, but it was an older, rougher dialect and I had no idea what words were being spoken. When Quil Sr.'s voice suddenly rose in pitch, Sam stepped into the chant-zone, beckoning for me to follow.

Call me a product of twenty-first century films, but I kept waiting for a flash of light or feeling of heavenly awe as Sam and I sat, facing each other. I could still mentally hear all of the wolves and no fur-loss knowledge was heading my way. It wasn't until Jared stepped in next to us that the ceremony truly started.

I could hear a voice talking to me and it was of no one I knew. Images began to flash through my mind as the spirits showed me how to begin this endeavor. My tail, which had been thumping in nervousness, slowed quickly and I was still bombarded with information as Jared left and was replaced with Paul.

One by one, my wolf brothers each took a turn in the circle, further relinquishing what I needed to know while the Elders chanted; never wavering or stumbling over the words. By the time Embry, the last wolf who had imprinted, left the circle, I was hunched down on all fours. Even with my eyes tightly closed, I could still sense what was going on both around me and in my mind. The unknown, monotonic voice communicated with me as Sam also left, before eventually fading out as the chanting slowed and then stopped.

I laid there for a long time, replaying what I had been shown. The information had been vast and vague: a promise, an exchange and a release; not much to work with and no specifics. My ears twitched and slowly my mom's voice came into focus as she asked Billy if they should approach me.

"No, Sue. The boy must handle this on his own. When the time is right, he will return home."

"Does it start now?"

"That is not an answer we are privileged in knowing. Whether he is to start now or later, he will not be able to speak of it to anyone. He may come home tonight and then suddenly vanish for a time in the nearby future. Or he may very well begin this night."

"So he may still decide not to go through with this. What happens then?"

"The spirits will not allow him to leave the circle until his mind is made up. His decision will be set only then and if he accepts it, his mind will be cut off from the rest of the pack until the journey is complete."

"How will anyone know…what if he needs help or runs into a leech? What if he becomes fully human again and is unable to protect himself from a disaster?"

"Sue, our gods are more caring than that; surely you know this. Seth was an admirable wolf and they will look out for him until the journey is fully complete. And that includes him returning to our lands. Let's leave him in peace for now, there's nothing else for us to do."

I felt the emptiness of the beach as I continued to lie in the circle. Themes, words, pictures and ideas raced in my head; none of them specific or overly detailed. If I began this trip, it would start as soon as I left the circle. Leah had been correct, the winter solstice was the key to making this work and my final act had to be finished just as the planet's axial shift allowed for the furthest distance from the sun. Talk about a tiny window of opportunity. It was now or never.

Distance had never felt like a factor before. To a werewolf, miles were just a hop skip and jump. This journey though was taking forever. I almost felt sluggish like I was swimming in Jell-O. After a few hours, daylight was virtually gone. Whether it was due to my location, somewhere in Northern British Columbia; my surroundings, the thickened fir trees creating a canopy from the sky; or the fact that it was December and the sun just didn't make an appearance here this time of year, I didn't know.

The trees started to slightly thin in numbers. It didn't offer any more light, but it did let me maneuver a bit easier. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement, but when I turned to look, nothing was there. Shaking my head in amusement, I went back to staring straight ahead. One minute it was space and plants, the next there was a white wall in front of me. Digging my heels in to the earth, I hydro-wolfed for a few seconds before coming to a complete halt.

"You've arrived," the mountain said to me.

"I…you…where…wh-, what are you?" I stuttered, not even taking notice that I had morphed back into human form. It wasn't really a mountain, hell I was bigger than it. But I don't care what mythological creature you are, when a fucking snowman talks to you, it causes a little bit of gaping.

"I am your first contact," it replied in a…well…How the hell do you explain what a talking snowman sounds like? He had a mouth and it moved but it was just movement in the snow he was made from. I guess if you had a really good robotic skeleton underneath with silicone parts, it could be accomplished. Somehow, though, I didn't think this was the Terminator playing a prank.

"C...contact?" I stuttered, still trying to get my brain to function properly. The circle voice had said an element would talk to me but I didn't think it'd be in a literal sense.

"Yes, contact. Aren't you here for a reason? I better not have quite my game of avalanche-E-O just to witness a wolf piss in the woods. And would you watch were you aim? This is my house you're coating in yellow. Plus it might kind of creep you out in a few minutes." The snowman was pointing to the ground and dumbly, I looked down.

I had literally peed myself. People always did crazy stuff when shocked; I was apparently no exception. However, even shock peeing doesn't just stop on its own. Once I had recomposed myself, I stood up to move over a few yards, all the time keeping my eyes on the contact.

"I guess you know what this is all about, right?" He asked, watching me with his creepy eyes.

"Sort of. I mean the spirits showed me the basics, but enough to understand bits and pieces."

"Correct. This, our world, is not like reality. It is a reality, but not like that shit humans live in. You sure you want to go back to that?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure," I retorted, getting sort of angry that he talked to me like I was five.

"You'd have all the missing pieces if you were. Now, stop being so snippy and listen closely. You want something that isn't supposed to be. I'm here to get that snowball rolling."

"How so?" I asked, not liking the twist his eyes made. Kind of reminded me of Quil when he asked for advice on sex positions.

"We all have needs and wants, kid. In order to help give you what you want, I need something similar."

"Like what? The spirits didn't tell me how to make you human, if that's what you're wanting."

"No, that's not what I want. I already told you, I'm more than content to stay as Jack Frost." In one quick motion, Jack threw a large clump of snow at a bird, hitting it dead-on. With a squawk, it fell out of the sky and landed a few hundred yards away. "Well, I'm mostly content. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a carrot nose from being eaten out here? Shit, those vultures would steal my pipe if they could."

"If you live out here, how did you get a carrot for a nose anyways? Isn't it supposed to be a button, like the song?"

"Hell if I know, kid. Why the fuck do I have coal for eyes? Besides, I think the carrot gives me more character than a stupid button. Then I'd look like I tried to blow a hiker, although, you wouldn't believe the number of drunk assholes that try to fuck a snowman. It just goes with the territory, I guess. It can be kinda cool, though. If a camper leaves a fire going, I can light those shitters up," he explained, pointing to his eyes, "and scare the piss out of, well, anyone. You know what I'm talking about."

"Umm, thanks for reminding me?"

"Anytime, kid. But right now, we need to start this. Word has it, a group of college kids will be camping out here soon. I need to get ready for that. So, you ready for this? It's not too late to turn back."

"No! I'm ready. Please just tell me what I need to do."

"Okay, well, like I said, I need a little bit of impossible in return for yours. The deal is this: You have to lick me, but not in a sexual way. It has to be as if you've never tasted anything so pure or fresh as the water I'm made of, or snow."

"You're greatest desire is to be licked?" I asked in disbelief.

"In a friendly way, homo! People don't like snow because it's 'jolly' and 'cheery'. I want to be appreciated for the pure element that I am and you have to do it."

"I have to lick you?" I asked once again, not quite understanding this "exchange" thing the spirits had hinted at. Jack wasn't amused with my behavior.

"Get your mind out of the damn gutter. Yes, you have to lick me, but not like you want to eat me or anything. It has to be in a friendly, loving sort of way or this won't work."

"Now?" I questioned, looking around for someone to jump out and announce I was on "Punk'd". It definitely had an Ashton Kutcher feel to it

"NO, the next millennia. Yes, now. You are running on a schedule here."

Slowly I approached him and stopped a few inches short. With a quick lick, I jumped back to gauge his expression. It wasn't happy.

"I've rolled over dying critters and felt more love and friendship than that. Try again."

I repeated the process, this time lingering as I dragged my tongue up his, I didn't know what to call it, his side?

"I'm freezing my nuts off here, pooch," Jack snapped, holding out two small round snowballs. "Just kidding," he grinned before launching them in succession at another bird overheard. Like before, they hit their mark and a bird fell to the ground off in the distance. With a smirk at his goal, he turned back to me. "Either give it your all or give up. Maybe it'd help if you tried talking to me, like I'm your favorite piece of candy or something."

"I thought you said it couldn't be like I wanted to eat you?" I was so confused about his explanation. This was nothing but a pure freak show and I wanted to do it right and be gone. Jack was still not appeased.

"I meant that I didn't want you to sexually lick me. You do understand the difference right?" At my nod he continued, "Well, heel Fido and get to licking. Would it help if I formed myself as a Milk-Bone?"

"No," I snapped. "I got it, just give me a sec." Pretending I was Quil, I gave it my all. "Mmmm, Jack." Nuzzle. "You're so pure and fresh." Lick. "I've never had a better friend than you." Lick, lick. "I'll always cherish the happiness you will forever give me." Long lick.

Stepping back, I tried not to vomit. He was just snow, but the taste of 'wonderment' left me feeling hacky.

"That was nice," Jack said dreamily before regaining his composure. "Not an Emmy-worthy performance, but still nice. Okay, kid, you passed. On to your next task. Have fun and try not to leak all over the next one." Swiveling around, Jack began to glide away.

"Wait, that's it? I don't feel any different," I called out in a panic.

"Everything takes time, kid. You won't feel different right away," Jack called out, still moving away. I only jumped slightly when he launched another snowball at an extremely large bird.

"How am I supposed to find my next contact?" I yelled out, still wondering what exactly had transpired. Surely this couldn't be it.

"Your next contact will be easy to find, you can't miss the red-light district." And he was gone, leaving me alone once again.

As I crossed through the northern most part of Canada's forest, the trees became fewer and fewer until the only thing visible was a sandy-colored wolf [me] and snow. I continued to trudge in a northern direction wondering what my task would be. The whiteness began to bleed into shadows and I thought I was hallucinating as the snow began to turn from a pale pink into darker shades before becoming a brilliant red.

Stopping, I sat down to observe the area. Every direction I turned, the same red hue greeted my sight.

"Hello there, friend. Are you here to help?" The stag asked me in a very soft voice.

Blinking slowly, I gave me head a little shake, trying to erase the mirage of a talking deer. I was a fucking werewolf and even I couldn't talk while in animal form, but this creature was doing just that.

"Aww, don't say no. I know why you're here. Could you please turn into a human? The whole deer-wolf relationship is slightly disturbing. I should be thankful though; if I was a pig, you'd have to blow me and that doesn't sound like it would be a lot of fun."

The art of summoning my human form wasn't needed. Like with Jack, I was too shocked and instantly morphed into a man. A delusional man, sitting butt-ass naked in snow with a pair of shorts tied to my leg, but a man never-the-less.

"Ah, there you are. You must be the one looking to lose his myth heritage. My name's Rudolph, and you are?"

"Seth," I whispered, still in awe of a talking reindeer.

"Seth? That doesn't sound very Christmassy."

"Does that matter?" Panicked, I waited for the stag to say I had to use some mythical Christmas name. Not that I knew of any.

"No, but I like Christmas names, they're so much more…holidayish. Don't you agree?"

"I, uhh, I guess," I agreed in a relieved voice. " What is this place?" Looking around, I saw a similar pattern of old-fashioned buildings and parlors decorated in ornaments and lights.

"Didn't Frosty tell you? This is the red-light district," Rudolph stated in a less-than-happy voice.

"He mentioned that, but what is it? I mean, what's a red-light district?" Rudolph started to walk away and I threw on my shorts to follow him.

"Oh, well, have you ever been to Amsterdam?" I shook my head no as we continued to walk up a street, passing bars and brothels. "See, one year me and the crew, you know, the eight reindeers? Anyways, we were delivering a few toys there; please don't ask about the toys. Those people ask for some weird things. We were flying overhead and Dancer decided he wanted to live up to his name. I never should have agreed to the bet." His pace slowed as he shook his head in despair.

"What bet?"

"The one that created this. No one knew Dancer could dance. During the off season, he doubled as a zoo animal in New York during the day. At night, he'd fly out and watch local shows and stuff. That year after our fateful Amsterdam excursion, he challenged me to a dance off. I didn't even know reindeer could contort for hip-hop. He won though, fair and square according to Donder, Dasher, and Prancer. Vixen and Blitzen were too drunk to accurately vote and claimed the sleigh had beaten us both, so their votes weren't counted. Comet voted for me, but Cupid said that his vote didn't count because Comet and Cupid had to stay united as a pair in voting and since Cupid resembles Valentines, which is celebrated by the color red, it would be a conflict of interest to vote for a red-nosed reindeer."

"You lost me at sleigh," I said, trying to figure out what my original question had been.

"It doesn't matter. Dancer won and his prize was for me to create this area for him, so he could not only dance, but dance how he wanted to."

"Christmassy?" I asked, recycling his term from earlier.

"No," Rudolph said sadly, shaking his head. "If it isn't obvious, Dancer performs as an exotic stripper, pole and all. He felt that by dubbing this area as a red-light district, more people would be interested in his type of dance. I didn't know it at the time, but he used me."

"Do I want to know how you were used?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"Well…it wasn't all bad. Very few of us carry the red-nosed gene, but Dancer had found some science documents that showed where the female carriers were located; some old testing site called the Bikini Atoll. There were six females in all and Dancer brought them all back here.

"Interesting," I replied, meaning anything but.

Rudolph didn't seem to notice and continued on with his story. "After a couple of years, I had two handsome bucks, Watt and Joule, who resemble me. The third one, AC/DC, he just can't get his nose going. That's why you are here." Stooping in front of a scary looking granary, Rudolph smiled at me.

Now would be the time to make my exit.

"I'm so sorry to hear that and really I wish I could help, but I have this whole task thing to complete before my time runs out and I don't know the first thing about faulty noses and stuff."

"See, but that's where you're wrong. I already know what the problem is and how to fix it. All I want for Christmas is for AC/DC to be fixed and it just so happens, a werewolf can do it. That will be your task with me." Pushing open the door to the building, Rudolph nudged me inside before following behind.

The entire place was one room with a high rounded ceiling. Numerous stalls and bales of hay lined the wall. It was dark except for one stall that had twinkling Christmas lights swirled about it, all in various shades of red and pink with an occasional white bulb. Another reindeer was lying inside of it, staring glumly at the floor. Impassively he looked up at us before lowering his head back to the straw.

The comatose reindeer, who I assumed was AC/DC, had a nose similar to Rudolph, but it didn't glow at all.

"How is this supposed to work? I can't fix his nose," I pleaded with Rudolph.

"Yes, you can; you just didn't let me finish my story. See, I don't remember when my nose began to glow, but with Watt and Joule's it happened after they spent a night out on the town with Vixen. The three of them hit every hay-house on the continent and I'm surprised neither of my boys came home with worms or ticks."

"You're saying that the nose lights up after they have sex?" I whispered, afraid of what my task was about to be.

"Uh huh," Rudolph agreed, nodding his head vigorously.

"I am not fucking a reindeer," I snapped, thinking the spirits had to be completely fucking whacked in the head.

"Eww," Rudolph exclaimed, just as disgusted as I felt. "His name may be AC/DC, but he doesn't swing interspecies-ly. I would never ask my son to have sex with a wolf; that's not your task."

"Oh, thank god," I exclaimed, nearly slumping to the floor in relief.

"No, what I need you to do, since you not only have hands, but can move them quickly, is rub him until enough electricity builds up to jump start his nose."

"WHAT?" I screamed out, my horror and terror rising up again.

"Your hands," Rudolph indicated, nodding to my clenched fists. "You can move them really fast; I bet you could create enough friction to start a campfire with them. Not that I want you to burn my son, but I need you to rub his nose until it ignites."

The next ten minutes could have quite possibly been the longest time in my life. AC/DC wasn't really cooperative and the mangy moose tried to bite me several times. Eventually I was able to mount him from behind, and yes that does sound as gross as it felt. With one arm around his neck in a choke hold, I used the other to scrub his snout with enough force to spark it. Keeping up a pace I never thought possible, the little current things inside began to glow brighter and brighter. With a final hissing pop, his nose glowed just as brightly as his dad's.

AC/DC stopped bucking after that to stare lovingly at first his nose, then at his dad, who got all the thanks. I crawled off the reindeer slowly and backed away, ready to make my get-away. Rudolph had eyes like a hawk and stopped me before I could even get the door open. Leading me over to a different stall, he heaped praises of making his Christmas wish come true. After many attempts, I was finally able to get him to shut-up and let me leave. However, there was apparently one more detail.

"Would you like a cookie before you leave?" Rudolph asked, nodding to a manger filled with holiday treats.

Shaking my head, I replied, "Umm, no thanks. I'm good."

"Yeah, that wasn't really a question. I need you to take a cookie with you. He has to get back to his home and I won't be going that way for a few more days." Walking over to the manger, Rudolph bent down and retrieved a gingerbread cookie. Carefully he came back in front of me and waited until I stretched out my hand to let him place it in my palm.

"That's Gib," Rudolph replied. "He's kind of shy around newcomers, but I'm sure he'll be talking your ear off before your next task finds you. Have a good time and thanks again for all your help." Turning around, he trotted back over to his son, instructing the kid on proper dimming techniques. That was a biology lesson I hoped to never see again and I left just as quickly, hoping my next task could be somewhat normal.

I continued in a northern direction again and the redness of light began to fade, returning to the barren shades of grey. With one arm extended in front of me, I picked up the pace and jogged, trying not to think about the shaking parcel I had in my hand. I always thought this far north, it would have been noisy with wind, but I didn't hear or feel any.

"You're not going to eat me, are you?" Asked the trembling cookie, disturbing the silence around us.

"Uhh, no," I answered, slowing back down to a walk. "I don't think I have it in me to eat you," I answered truthfully, still tasting the snowman "wonderment" in the back of my throat.

"What, I'm not good enough to be eaten?" Gib, the cookie man asked. "Am I not gingery enough for you?" He sat up in my hand, sounding as ridiculous as I felt. "Are my gumdrops to low-class for the almighty wolf?" Popping off his top gumdrop, he examined it like a jeweler would with a rare stone. Not seeing any flaws, he fixed back into his dough, waiting for me to answer.

I'd had enough with the mythical creatures of the north and their snarky repartee. "Would you like me to turn you from a gingerbread man into a ginger snap?" I harshly responded, waiting for him to return to his passive form. Apparently that wasn't going to happen.

"Oh, now you get huffy. Next you'll be telling me that you're going to destroy my gingerbread house by dousing it in milk. Well, I got news for you buddy: I have icing and crumble insurance through Allspice."

Wisely, I kept my comments to myself. No way was I about to argue with a cookie and hopefully he'd get the hint. Maybe one of Jack's birds would fly by and eat him. That brought a smile to my face.

"Why do you smell all magical?" Gib asked a few minutes later, not at all bothered by my unwillingness to converse. Maybe I could scare him into submissiveness.

"Because I'm a werewolf," I stated, giving him my best wolfish grin. It worked for other pack members, but none of them had ever used it on a Pillsbury castaway.

"No, that's not it. Your breath smells like Frosty magic. Have you seen him?"

"Earlier," I hissed, not appreciating the reminder.

"Ha!" The dough ball exclaimed. "And he got you to lick him, didn't he? The perv."

"It was one of my tasks," I groused, trying to defend my actions.

"Really? Your great spirits told you to lick a snowman? That's a little odd, even for a creature that habitually licks its own butt."

"You certainly are a mouthy little cookie, aren't you? I'd be more careful of what you spout off to a werewolf. My sister's a wolf too and even though she doesn't, well that's not important. The important thing is, she's a girl who has P.M.S. days and likes to indulge with the treats."

"You really suck at this whole threatening thing, did you know that? I may only be a cookie, but even I know that girls want the chocolate on those days. I think the M&M dudes should be the ones to worry about hormonal raging female werewolves. Back to the subject at hand; your spirits told you to lick Frosty?"

"No. They said I'd encounter beings who would give me knowledge and release me from being a wolf; that I was to do as they instructed and I could be normal."

"Of course, because licking animated ice sculptures are the cure-all for werewolfness. Am I close?"

"I don't know? I'm willing to do just about anything to become just a normal boy again," I responded in an exasperated tone.

'Geez, you sound like Pinocchio. Face it, you got played, or iced, however you want to see it. All Frosty had to do was let you know you were heading in the right direction."

"Why do call him Frosty? I thought his name was Jack?"

"Jack? Oh god, don't make me laugh." Gib, did in fact laugh, spraying out crumbs across my hand. _Should I be more or less concerned that they weren't gingerbread crumbs?_ "His name is Frosty; a distant, three times removed cousin to Jack Frost. They used to hang out, but Jack caught Frosty doing funky things to polar bears so he sent him away, further south."

"What kind of funky things?" I asked, wondering how upsetting a snowman could be to a creature like a polar bear. Gib stood up in my palm and looked at me.

"You know," he stated slowly, "disturbing things like this." Dropping down onto my palm like he was doing a push-up, he began gyrating against my palm and moaning about 'giving an icicle you won't forget'.

I missed the part where he had pushed one of his gumdrops lower, but when he said, "feel that, Shaggy," I lost my cookie. With one quick shake of my palm, he flew through the air and landed about ten feet away, still twitching like a wafer wanton.

"Just stop! I get it, okay? I don't need you to explain anymore."

"You better toughen up, girly," Gib said, standing up to brush off some snow. "Your next contact is a lot rougher than Rudy was."

"Don't you dare tell me to toughen up. You were trying to get it on with the palm of my hand."

"Do you have icing all over you hand? No, you don't. So don't tell me what I was or wasn't trying to do. You can't even take a joke; my button just slipped. If I really wanted some action, I would have used my interchangeable licorice parts. Now stop sifting around and pick me up. We need to get on with this."

Once I had collected my thoughts and retained some sense of self-control, I picked him back up to continue our hike. Our surroundings were barren, desolate and I kept waiting for one of these constantly mentioned polar bears to make an appearance. After a little bit, the silence was broken again by Gib.

"Look, I feel I should warn you. This next character comes off as aggressive; he has to be, though. But, really, he doesn't like Frosty and he'll smell that magic funk a mile away. Do you have any breath mints?"

"Where the hell would I keep a breath mint? No, I don't have any and what does it matter. Whoever I'm meeting has nothing to do with who I've met, right?"

"I'm sorry about the earlier jokes, but this guy really, really hates Frosty. He's good friends with Jack, has been for several ice-ages, but when Frosty engaged in some things with the polar bears, he got pissed and told Jack it was either him or Frosty. Jack gave Frosty the boot without a second thought. The polar bears are Abe's bitches and no one else's."

"Who's Abe?" I asked Gib, staring down at him. So intent was my concentration on the cookie that I hadn't been paying attention to the surrounds.

"I am; who wants to know?" A deep, monstrous voice said.

"Fuck me!" I screeched like a little girl, almost dropping Gib again. My heart raced as I stared at something I never really thought existed.

The creature was large, hairy and stood upright like a human. It had a large, rounded head and its face could have been similar to a primate's. I couldn't see anything that resembled ears and its eyes were feral but no one could miss the sharp, pointy teeth I saw as the mouth kind of hung open. The hair, or fur, that covered nearly every inch of its form was a pure, glistening white and slightly long in length. He/it seemed to be studying me as well before speaking again.

"I don't think so; you definitely aren't a bear." Dropping his head, he looked into my palm where Gib sat and kinda waved. "Gib, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending some time in the district?"

"I was, but Rudy doesn't plan on returning home til the last possible moment and I was tired of creaming around. So girly here, I mean, Seth, agreed to take me back."

"Well, you know I don't care if you're here, but you need to skittle away for a bit until his task is complete."

"Is Coke here? I figure he can take me to watch some northern lights for awhile."

"Yeah, he's here. His evil twin, Pepsi, has been shaking things up for a bit. Pretty soon the whole affair is going to explode if he doesn't knock that shit off. Let me get him for you." As magically as Abe had appeared, he disappeared, leaving me and Gib standing in the same spot.

I couldn't find it in me to ask any questions and Gib had finally shut-up, not offering any more advice. When Abe came back with a polar bear in tow, it finally clicked: Abe was an abominable snowman. Before I could plead with the cookie, or the bear, not to leave me alone with Abe, they both left.

Abe stood there, waving good bye to his companions as they lumbered off before he turned his attention back to me. "So, are you ready for your task, Seth?"

"I…uhh…yeah, but like you said, I'm not a bear. Maybe this won't work?" I suggested.

"Relax, wereboy. I have enough bears to wine and dine for a lifetime. I can smell that you've talked to Frosty." Letting out a growl worthy of any beast, I heard him count slowly to ten before he spoke again. "Surely he told you this whole procedure is an exchange of sorts, correct?"

"He did," I answered cautiously, hoping I wouldn't upset Abe.

"Good, so let me just lay it out there for you. Gib may have hinted about my arrangement with the bears. I don't share them at all. They're free to consort with each other, but any other species is off limits, including that retarded toucan, Sam, who claims he's a puffin.

"Sam is my Alpha."

"He got to you too? Well shit! If you're getting your freak on with a bird that has a beak longer than its body, my task should be a piece of cake. Mmmm, cake. Did Rudy send any other packages with you?" Abe asked, instantly contorting his face from a look of fierce hatred to one of great longing.

"Uhh, no. But Sam is a human who turns into a wolf like me. Sam Uley? He doesn't have a beak or feathers."

"Whatever. That reality is not for me and I really don't want to hear about it. Damn, no treats, though? Well, I guess we'll just have to do this without any comfort food then."

"Do…do what exactly?" I asked as Abe stepped closer to grab my hand. At 6'7, not many could make me feel like a dwarf, but Abe was easily close to nine feet in height. He had already said I wasn't a bear and while I didn't want to ask for any specifics, him wanting to hold my hand was a little creepy; revolting even.

"This will work a lot better if we head on over to my igloo. I can carry you if you want?" He offered.

"NO!" I shrieked out, again like a little girl. Abe began forming a frown, scary as shit for an abominable snowman, and I hurried to clarify. "I mean, no thanks, I'm happy to walk. Lead the way," Gesturing forward with my hand I waited while Abe continued to study me. Finally he huffed and took off at a brisk pace while I jogged to keep up.

The opening to the igloo was approximately four feet wide and tall making both of us have to crawl on our hands and knees to enter. Silently, I prayed a thank you that Abe went in first.

The inside was draped in what looked like walrus hide; I didn't bother to touch it. Cartoons of various animals and activities had been cut into the ice walls and dyed with something to make it look like artwork. A small pit sat in the center of the room, housing an equally small fire, the smoke curling and drifting upwards to escape through a tiny opening in the ceiling.

Abe walked to the far side of the fire and plopped down onto the floor, indicating for me to do likewise. Briefly I wondered if this was similar to what my ancestors had done with neighboring tribes they wanted to negotiate with.

"You seem nervous, Seth. Don't be; this won't be painful for either of us."

"I, uhh, I'm trying hard not to be nervous, but it's not every day you meet a legendary figure. I'm a bit awed at the moment."

"Yeah, I can understand that. I've never met a human before, but you don't see me all nervous. Sure, I've seen them running around and screaming "Yeti" and it was loads of fun. I haven't actually talked to one though and I want my Christmas wish just as much as you want yours."

"Concerning my nerves, it's because you are a lot bigger than me and I have no doubt you could easily hurt me. I could phase into a wolf, which would make me bigger and lessening my anxiety, but then we wouldn't be able to talk and I all I want to do is accomplish my task and move on to the next one before my time is up."

Abe studied me for a moment before his eyes lit up. "I never made the connection before. You say can turn into a large wolf?" He asked. At my nod, he continued "I'd imagine that your wolf form might kind of look like a bear, huh? Would you show me?"

"I'd rather not," I answered, hoping he'd let me get away with it. "That's not what you really want, is it?"

"No, it's not. I just thought it might be kinda cool to see. You know, a memory for later when Coke comes back this way. This far up north, there's not a whole lot of variety."

"I,uhh, need to think about it, ok? Let's just get on with my task, if that's okay with you?" I hesitantly suggested. Abe just nodded.

"Sure, we can do that. But this is a lot to take in, so I expect you not to judge me or anything. I better not hear you hackling later on about my request or I will hunt you down and let one of my bears play with you like a chew toy. Are we clear?"

Who would think a Yeti or Abominabel Snowman would have self-image problems? He didn't strike me as the type of creature to give a shit as to whether or not he was ridiculed. Of course maybe he did and that's why an animal like a bear caved to his requirements. I simply nodded my head in agreement, holding my breath in anticipational dread.

"I want to cuddle."

Abe said the words in a straightforward manner and I heard them but couldn't coherently place the meaning. _Did he say cuddle? Maybe he meant cut-throat?_

"Cuddle? As in give me a hug? Does the word 'cuddle' have a different meaning up here in the north?"

"I don't know about different. All of us are extremely furred so maybe our cuddling isn't as robust as non-furred entities, but I think the principle is the same."

"And that's it? I just have to cuddle with you for a little bit and then my task is completely?"

"Why do you sound so shocked? You're a human, or as near to one as I'll ever see up this close. I have just as many human characteristics as I do animal ones and I'd like to get close to you."

"But cuddling won't teach you anything? Wouldn't you rather ask me questions or something?"

"No. I can read all about that stuff whenever I want to; RC –another bear- won an Iphone from one of the reindeers in a poker game. I want to physically feel the experience of cuddling with a human and you're my bitch for the job. Figuratively speaking, of course," Abe added before giving me a wink.

I swallowed heavily a few times before trying to speak. For the briefest moment, I wished I had brought along jeans and a long sleeved shirt instead of my usual cut-offs.

_I wonder if Yeti's carry scabies or body lice? _

"Do you want me to sit in your lap?" I asked, starting to stand up. Abe just shook his head, halting my movements.

"No, I think proper cuddling should take place in a bed. Let's do it there!"

"Oh, well, I have a thing about sharing cuddle spots with others," I stammered, trying not to think of Abe's Polar bitches and what type of activates they may have been doing in a bed.

"There are only two things that happen in a bed, kid: sleeping and cuddling. What kind of reality do you live in? Geez, you guys mess up your beds with that kind of raunchy stuff? That's gross."

I almost melted to the ground in relief after hearing Abe's reasoning. If a bed only had that type of purpose here, I could deal. He stood up and motioned for me to cross the room. A part of the walrus décor was built up in one area and it was easy to make out a pillow-shaped lump, although oddly enough it was located in the center of the bed area.

Abe lay down and patted the bed. The pillow lump lined up with his back and he patted the spot for me to join him.

"Come on, kid. We'll have a brief cuddle session and then it'll be time for you to continue on with your tasks. Coke and Gib should be back by then."

_Just a cuddle session; I can do this. Just a cuddle session; I can do this. Just a cuddle session with a big, mythological porn monster; I need to fucking run away. Now!_

I must have been backing away again because Abe grabbed my hand to pull me forward.

"Let's get comfy. I already said we weren't going to be doing any of that funky stuff here. Do you have any idea how much it costs to dry-clean walrus hide?" With what had to be less than a tug, he pulled and I fell, head first into his chest.

Flipping me like a pancake, my back was quickly pressed into his chest with his two furry arms wrapped around me like a vice. Willing my heart to slow, I could feel Abe breath above my head. _This is only_ _cuddle time. Maybe he'll fall asleep and then I can sneak away._ I nearly pissed myself again when his hand dropped to my shorts.

"These have got to go. I want to feel all of you." Faster than Quil could fart, Abe had my shorts off and flung across the igloo. "Much better," he cooed, pulling me tighter against him.

Pissing all over myself was no longer an issue; I was so freaked, my dick had crawled up in my body like a turtle head. Even with my eyes shut, I knew I had to resemble a girl.

"Hey, could you maybe roll over and wrap your arms around me?" Abe asked a few minutes later, still nuzzling my head.

I rolled back over towards him, trembling like a 16th century virgin. He pressed me tightly to his form, his fur causing me to shiver all over again. Abe wasn't overly concerned about it. Grabbing my arm, he placed it around his torso and sighed contentedly even though I made no move to add pressure.

Two thousand nine hundred and fifty-four mentally chanted "This will all be over soon" and it was. Abe had fallen asleep but the noise of Gib and Coke returning woke him. Giving me a one-night-stand good morning smile, he pushed me off the pallet and pointed to the other side of the igloo where my shorts lay. Hard to believe but I got those things on quicker than Abe had stripped them off of me and ran for the exit, Abe right behind me.

Gib was perched on the bear's shoulder, talking animatedly to him about the lights while Coke gave me a glare before casting a loving gaze to Abe.

"I missed you, powder-puff," Abe stated, walking over to Coke to give him a hug. Gib barely managed to jump out of the way before Abe's arms encircled Coke, who stood up to reciprocate. After a few minutes of smooching, Abe grabbed Gib to walk back over to me.

"Thanks, Seth. Your journey is almost over as far as I know. Gib will show you the way but it won't be hard to miss."

"Uhh, okay, Abe. Have a Merry Christmas," I offered, not knowing what else to say and in no way about to lie off my ass and tell him thanks for groping me the past couple of hours.

It didn't really matter. Once Gib was in my hand again, Abe and Coke were giggling to each other and talking about visiting a nearby beach. Wrapping my fingers around Gib, so he wouldn't slip, I took off at a run, still in northern direction. Gib didn't say otherwise so I figured I was on the right path.

"Hey, Gib! Did you bring us someone else to suck our canes?" An elf called out as I slowed to a walk. Out of nowhere, a town had appeared.

"Ha ha, Caesar," Gib responded. "You better back off. This one here was with Abe and has been instructed to deal with the big man only. You know your place."

It had to be the words and not the angry cookie-face that made the elves back away, most of them suddenly looking almost shameful. I walked along a sidewalk that felt squishy like marshmallow fluff. It wasn't sticky just kind of springy.

Hundreds of elves and other creatures, walked up and down the street, occasionally stopping to talk to one another or enter one of the many shops. The entire place felt like one of those Norman Rockwell paintings.

"See the brick house with the peppermint flagstones?" Gib asked me, yanking on my thumb. "That's where we're headed. Just go on in." Ahead of us at the end of the road was a grand building, sitting alone.

Deep red colored bricks created the body of the house. Rectangular in shape, it vaguely resembled pictures I had seen of the white house. The columns that adorned the front porch bore the same whiteness as the crowning that circled around each and every window. Strings of twinkling white lights hung from the eaves; each one ending with a brilliantly lit snowflake.

"This is your house?" I asked, awed over the sheer size and decorative moldings.

Gib just snorted. "No way! Do I look like I want to live in a house made out of brick? The same type of brick that they make ovens out of? My place is in the back; we named it 'Bakedburgh' in honor of The Baker went a little mad and started creating us like crazy. No get moving; 'Hell's Kitchen' is about to come on and I have a bet with Ms. Shortcake on who's gonna get the ax. A pound of powdered sugar says it's the blueberries. The muffin man's gonna weep!"

Not daring to question what this new bit of insanity was about, I briskly walked up the path and opened the door to step inside. It was like entering a toy store.

Every inch of space held toys, toys and more toys and not just kid toys. Gifts wrapped in brightly colored foils, papers and tissues were adorned with huge bows and ribbons. Larger items were just set out like the wagons, bicycles and even a…twelve gauge shot gun?

Gib pried at my fingers still clutching him so I'd release him. I slackened my fingers and he jumped down, running over to a toy train heading our way.

"It was a lot of fun traveling with you, girly; I gotta go. Your train should be here in just a minute. Good luck!" With a wave, he jumped onboard and it took off, racing through an opening in the wall.

He was correct; a bigger train suddenly appeared. It wasn't the size of an actual train, more roller coaster sized. Wearily I sat down in the first seat, wondering why I could not only fit, but who was the conductor and why was I alone? With a jerk, the train started to move fast, zipping through and around decorated rooms, presents and eventually working elves; none of whom paid me the slightest bit of attention.

Fifteen minutes went by before the train slowed and came to a standstill in front of a dimly lit hallway. Cautiously I stood up, jumping slightly when the train took off, leaving me alone and clueless. With no other direction to go, I followed the hallway, stopping short at an ornately framed door of silk and lace. Before I could knock, it moved, opening up to reveal a parlor type space, complete with divans.

"Have a seat," a female voice instructed.

Hastily, I sat down before searching out the voice. When I did, my jaw dropped opened. The woman was a goddess!

With long, blonde hair, high cheek bones and bright blue eyes, she looked just like the doll, Barbie. She was wearing heels but they didn't make a sound as she proceeded to approach me and take a seat across the way.

"You are the one here for the exchange, yes?" She asked, adjusting her robe.

I couldn't speak. Her body was beautiful and despite all the mauling I'd dealt with from earlier from Abe, I wanted to fuck her. She was dressed in a sheer robe that hid nothing from me. The fabric was a sheer white; underneath which she was wearing a golden corset adorned with green holly shaped stitching. The panties were of the same green and completing the outfit was a pair of bright red garters that matched the tiny red berries decorated on the corset. If I had to lick, rub or cuddle her, I could die here a happy wolf-man. She still hadn't noticed my lack of conversation and patiently waited for me to find my tongue.

"I, uhh, yes I'm here for an exchange. Whatever you want!"

"I am so happy to hear that. This will help all of us out in the long run," she exclaimed. With a beaming smile, she took a sip of her tea. I hadn't noticed it earlier but who the hell could blame me?

"I have to be quick about this; our time is running short. Would you mind if I explain it all first, without interruptions? After, you may ask whatever questions are necessary, yes?" She asked, her voice sounding like heaven itself. She had a faint accent but I couldn't place it.

"Whatever you want; I'm yours!" I agreed, hoping we had enough time to at least cuddle a little. Who the hell was I kidding? I could grope, lick, cuddle and fuck simultaneously, without missing out on anything. She just had to say 'Go'!

"First, welcome to the North Pole. This is Santa's house and I am Mrs. Nicholaus Clause." With a small bow that gave me some cleavage eye-candy, I just nodded. "Santa is the main ruler of all things mythological. However, he doesn't like to grant huge favors and has only agreed to this to make me happy. Of course, this whole ordeal has upset him and he would like to see an end to it.

"Many years ago, I had an affair. I love Nick dearly, but I was enamored with a handsome fellow. All would have been forgiven had I not become pregnant. As sovereigns of the myth world, we are not to have children and I placed her in the care of my grandmother. My daughter has never been told of us or who we are and that must remain unknown to her."

Mrs. Clause paused to sip at her drink and my hopes soared. She had already had one affair; obviously she was looking for another and not with some mangy Bigfoot or a cane-caper elf. I leaned forward, waiting for her to tell me which position she wanted.

"Now, however, my daughter is about to be in trouble. A horrific beast will destroy her and I need to instill unto her, the last of your wolfness. By doing so, she will have all the protection she needs and be able to take care of herself."

"Mrs. Clause, I don't understand. My werewolf trait isn't transmittable; I can't give her anything like that. I can find her and protect her, but that's about it," I explained, waiting for her to decide that I could easily be her greatest desire.

A clock began to chime and Mrs. Clause dropped her drink. "I don't have time to tell you much else, you must leave now." Standing up, she grabbed my hand –which I happily took—and led me to a different door that opened on its own to the outside.

"This sleigh will take you where you need to go. This is my greatest wish and once it is complete, you will be as you have wished." With a quick kiss to each of my cheeks, she pushed me into the sled.

"Wait, what am I looking for? If she doesn't know, I need to," I argued, not at all ready to leave this goddess's presence.

"She carries our family color in the form of a cape. The sled will take you to the house where she resides. The rest is easy!" With a slap to the back of the sleigh, it took off.

Dashing through the snow was scary as shit. I was still built for endurance and speed but this was lunacy. The blurring white sped by, not allowing for me to make out a single structure or give me a clue as to my location. Eventually the coloration turned into browns and greens alerting me to the fact that I was back in some type of forest. I didn't so much as feel the slowing down or sudden stop of the sleigh as I did the harsh impact of launching from the seat and landing several hundred yards away in the snow.

Spitting out dirt and pine cones, I stood up to turn around a glare at my magical ride. It had vanished. Wherever I was, it didn't appear to be winter due to the absence of ice, but it wasn't a tropical place either. Taking a closer look, I saw a dirt path leading through the trees and with no other options, followed it. The trip ended quickly to reveal my final destination: a shitty ass, shack.

I went inside, knowing there wasn't anyone presently there. It was just as rugged within, only containing sparse furniture, a dirt floor and nothing modern. The main room held a rocker and an old gouged table that sat in front of a fire place. A small basket was nearby, with the obvious makings of knitted garments and a ball of yarn.

I was starting to get tired and could feel my eyes wanting to shut and sleep. There was no way that old rocker was going to hold my weight and while I could phase as a wolf and settle somewhere outside, Mrs. Clause had insisted that I had very little time to complete my task.

Opening the only other interior door, I was relieved to find a bed. A quilt that had seen better days was draped across the mattress, but it would serve its purpose. I carefully sprawled across the bed, relaxing with the feel of a soft bed underneath me. My eyes shut and somewhere between wakefulness and sleep I could hear familiar mumblings.

"Grandma?" a voice questioned, causing my eyes to shoot open. I was still in the bed and not much time could have passed but I was worried I may have overslept.

"No, no grandmas here," I replied, announcing my presence and waiting for the figure to appear. Quick footsteps made their way to the door of the room before it was flung open. Standing before me was a very beautiful, young lady.

"Who the fuck are you?" The woman asked, glaring at me. "My granny can't afford a chimney sweeper and you sure as hell aren't Old Man Gruff."

"I have no idea who you're talking about. My name is Seth and I'm here on a secret mission." I gave her a warm smile in hopes that she wouldn't panic at the sight of a strange man in her bed.

She was tall and elegant. Dressed in a simple garment of light-gray, I could easily make out her voluptuous figure. A brilliant scarlet cloak adorned her shoulders, giving off a sexy aura.

"Granny really isn't here?" The young lady asked, digging around in the basket she was holding. Her attitude had changed from accusing to inquiring.

"Not that I've seen," I answered, watching as she walk over to a window and peer outside. Her shoulders relaxed and she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a box of matches. Quickly lighting the match, she held it to the end of a cigarette she had removed from the pack while inhaling.

"Want one?" She asked, holding the pack out. I just shook my head. "So a secret mission, huh? I must say, I've heard that one before." With a release of the tie at her neck, her cloak fell off to pool at her feet where she left. Walking over to the table, she pulled out a chair and swung her feet up on table.

"Who are you?" I asked, entranced as I eyed the small, leather boots she was wearing.

"Name's L.R. but you haven't really answered my question, Seth. Why are you here?" The woman, aware of my gaze, slowly arched her feet. The boot tips bent forward, showing me the laces before she stretched them back to her original position.

"I told you; I'm here on a secret mission to see you."

"Yeah, right. Did Peter send you here? I told that fucker I was tired of being cheated on with a squash! Whatever he sent you here with," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "take it on back. I don't want it."

"I've never heard of Peter or his squash. Someone else sent me and said I was to give you something."

"Like what?" Her voice was suddenly curious. I had to wonder why she wasn't upset to find a stranger in her house but she was treating me like this was an everyday occurrence for her. Maybe it was?

" I, umm, I have something I'm supposed to give you but I don't know how. They didn't tell me that; only that I was supposed to come here and help you. With the others, I had to give them their greatest wish."

"Some help you're gonna be; you didn't even know who I was. How do expect to help me?" L.R. asked me. I couldn't stop staring at her. There was something I was missing.

"Were you…are you Little Red Riding Hood?" I asked in surprise, wondering if I was here to protect her from the big bad wolf.

"Shit, where did you hear that name?" Dropping her feet back to the floor, she leaned forward. "I haven't been called that in years."

"I didn't hear it from anyone; it was your cape that gave it away. If you don't like the name, why did you tell me your name was L.R.?

"Because it is. L.R. is short for Lily Rose. The Little Red part was what Peter used to call me when we were kids. One day, when we were seventeen, I gave in and fucked him. Bet you'll never guess why he started calling me pearly pink?"

"That's okay," I croaked out, not needing the pornish visual that came to mind. "I can imagine."

"Well, we are here in a house with a bed. All alone. I could show you?"

"You want to show me your pink?" _Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Am I that lucky?_

"Why not? You look like a very healthy, strapping young lad close to my age. And I haven't been with any one in months. I'd say my greatest wish at the moment would be to go have sex. Why don't you accommodate me?"

"You're a beautiful woman and I'd love to help you but I don't have any protection with me. You could get pregnant and I don't want to be a dad yet." The words practically rattled out of my throat. On the contrary, I wanted to do nothing but have some afternoon fun.

"Are you brain dead? Only married people can have kids and I'm not looking to tie myself down with you. I just want to have a little afternoon fun before granny comes back." She walked over to the bed. "Look at you; half-naked already and lying in bed. I think you want it as much as I do." Her hand shot out to rub my crotch and my dick stiffened instantly. L.R. felt the movement and her smile grew. "Let me see what you have under there."

There was no argument left in me. Lily was as beautiful as her mother and had practically begged me to fuck her. It was a done deal. Both of our clothes disappeared and she was on me faster than I could think. She rode me hard and when I came less than five minutes after she sat down on top of me. I was embarrassed at not being able to last very long, but before I could go again, she disappeared.

* * *

3rd Person POV

Sam and Paul carried their fallen comrade hastily to his house. His skin was ashen and he was presently unconscious, head lolling to and fro as the men tried in vain not to jostle him. Within minutes they arrived at his house where Leah was waiting with the door wide open, oblivious to the cold and snow around her, the soft Christmas carols wafting from a radio inside, ignored.

The sudden appearance of unfriendly vampires in La Push took the werewolf pack by surprise. Jared had given a howl of alarm as eight leeches encroached through the thick forest. The battle was quick and dirty; numerous wolves suffered broken bones and gashes, but all had come out as victors until Seth was ambushed from above.

"He never wanted this, Uley!" Leah snapped at her fellow pack-mate as the two men lowered Seth to the couch.

Sam sighed heavily, before turning to address her. "None of us did, Leah, but we never had a choice in the matter. We still need to do sweeps to make sure others aren't also on their way. I'll be back tonight to check in. Please notify one of us if…," Sam trailed off, not wanting to finish the statement. Venom could be an instant death sentence, but no one knew who much a wolf body could safely fight before it killed.

Leah and Seth's mom, Sue, came in with thick blankets, gauze and disinfectant, cleaning the wound by pouring 91% alcohol on the bite marks before sealing the incisions with the cotton fabric. Seth's temperature had dropped low for a wolf, the normal 108.9F now a frigid 102.6F, and Sue hastened to add several more wool covers to her youngest child's body.

Dispassionately, Leah watched from across the room, angered that her brother had been hurt and was ill. When her mother finally left to call the other Elders, Leah approached Seth's side. Staring into the face of the lad who was usually so buoyant and happy, she sighed and reached out to brush away some of his hair that had grown shaggy and covered his forehead.

"Don't worry, Seth. Soon, all of this will feel like a figment of your imagination," She whispered, fighting back her own tears. Silently, she padded back over to a chair to watch her brother's restless sleep.

*&^^*(

"Leah," Sue called out to her dozing daughter, "Can you help me for a moment? It's been a few hours and I want to give Seth some ice-chips. I need you to hold his head for me." Walking into the room, Sue set a small cup of ice down on the end table, waiting for her daughter's help.

As Leah stood up to assist, a harsh rap sounded at the front door before opening and several other wolves entering the dwelling. Leah gave out an angered screech as Jake, Embry and Quil came in, the last of who had failed to dress yet.

"Quil, for the love of god, put some damn clothes on!" Leah commanded, outraged that he would be so crass. Quil only grinned.

"It's not like I can freeze my nuts off or anything, but thanks for your concern," Quil replied before pulling up a pair of shorts.

"Boys," Sue interrupted. "I'll let you visit as long as you want, but please, right now I need to give Seth some water."

"Of course, Sue. I'm so sorry about that," Jake responded, giving Quil a smack to the back of his head.

Embry walked over to where Seth lay and kneeled down to help sue administer the ice. After several attempts, Sue leaned back, worried that her son would dehydrate without some type of water.

"I don't think he likes the taste," Quil offered watching the failed attempts. "Maybe you should flavor the ice or something. You, know? Make it more appealing."

"Jake," Sue asked, desperate to try anything, "Would you go into the kitchen and cut up a Popsicle?"

"Sure sure, no problem, Sue," Jake agreed, willing to help. In the kitchen he found a small knife and bowl which he used to dice an orange-cream flavored Popsicle from the freezer before going back into the living room.

Everyone anxiously watched as Sue tried to feed tiny bits of Popsicle to the still nearly unconscious wolf. As the frozen treat began to melt, Sue would take teaspoonsful of the liquid to pour into Seth's mouth. After ten minutes, she finally stopped, somewhat relieved that he had swallowed a little bit of liquid.

"Mom," Leah called out, seeing the exhaustion and worry on her face. "Why don't you go get some sleep? We can keep an eye on Seth and I'll wake you in a few hours, if you want."

Sue nodded, knowing she probably wouldn't sleep but that she also wouldn't be able to care for her son if she didn't at least try.

"Thank you, Leah. Boys," Sue nodded to the guy's direction. "You guys make yourself at home. I'll be back down in a bit."

Jake, Embry, Quil and Leah all sat quietly in the room, not knowing what to say. Finally Embry spoke up. "Were you guys going to decorate soon? Is that why those boxes are over there?" He asked, nodding in the decoration of several trunks and cardboard boxes marked as Christmas decorations.

"Yeah, we were," Leah answered, the melancholy setting in. Seth loved Christmas and would sit for hours in front of the tree, gazing at the numerous ornaments. This year might be different, depending on what happened in the next few hours.

"You know," Embry continued, seeing the look on Leah's face. "We could put up the tree. That way, when Seth wakes up, he'll have something to make him feel better."

"Actually," Leah suggested, beginning to form an idea, "I can put the tree up in here by myself. Would you guys mind going out to the shed and getting the ladder out to hang the outside lights? Seth and I usually do it, but I don't want him to overexert himself later."

"Not a problem," Embry stated. He stood up along with a willing Jake and less than willing Quil. "We'll go do that now and come get you when we're done, okay?"

Leah just nodded, already approaching the other decoration boxes to assemble the fake Christmas tree for Seth's viewing pleasure when he awoke.

An hour later, Quil rapped on the window, indicating Leah should come outside to see what the guys had accomplished. Placing the star on top of the tree, Leah closed the last box and walked outside to see the newly hung lights.

'Are you ready?" Quil asked, holding the two ends of a power cords in his hands. They hadn't tried them out yet, wanting Leah to see the viewing since it was her house.

"Plug it in already, Quil." Leah snapped, fatigue getting the best of her.

"Okay, fine," he huffed before snapping the plug into the socket. Instantly the entire outside of the house lit up in a brilliant red.

"You fuckers!" Leah yelled, appalled at their completed task. "Did you not open up any of the other boxes? Our house looks like a damn brothel from the red light district of Amsterdam. Go back and take some of them down and exchange them for other lights so it's Christmassy and not whorish!"

Stomping back inside, Leah saw that her mom had come back downstairs and had plugged in the newly decorated Christmas tree. Tiny lights illuminated the room, casting small shadows on the boy still unconscious on the couch.

"Thanks for decorating, Leah. Your brother will be so happy when he wakes up," Sue stated, smiling softly at her daughter. Leah returned the gesture before resuming her spot in a well-worn armchair. Twenty minutes later, the boys came back inside, multi-colored outside lights visible from the windows.

"Is he waking up?" Jake asked, watching as Seth twisted and contorted underneath the pile of blankets.

Everyone turned to stare at the boy on the couch, the wolves in the room hearing Seth's heartbeat sky-rocket while he thrashed with the covers. Embry and Quil held him down while Jake tried to untangle the woolen mass that seemed to be upsetting Seth so much in his delirium. Sue left to return a moment later with a sheet. Obviously the blankets were no longer a comfort, but she still needed to address his wound and knew he wouldn't be comfortable lying completely nude in front of his family.

When Jake had removed all of the blankets, and recovered Seth with just a single sheet, the boy relaxed back into a peaceful slumber. Sue touched his cheek, and using an ear thermometer, was relieved to learn that Seth's temperature was climbing again. The device read 106.1F.

"His temperature is returning to normal. He must have been too hot under the blankets," She told the room.

Jake covered a yawn before answering. "That's good news, Sue. All of us are happy to hear that. It's getting late," he commented, glancing at the clock that read 11:17p.m.. We'll leave you guys for now and come back tomorrow morning."

"Yes, that's fine, dear. I think the spirits have chosen for my boy to live. I'll call if anything changes," Sue answered, watching as the guys bid their farewells before leaving.

The minutes ticked by slowly and soon Leah was dozing in her chair while Sue sat close by watching both of her children sleep. Deciding to appease both herself and her sleeping son, she rose to fetch his favorite bedtime story from when he was a toddler.

Returning with a homemade gingerbread cookie and mug of mint tea, Sue began to quietly read the fairytale, over and over. She marveled as each time the story finished, Seth seemed to be smiling, more and more.

Leah awoke to soft murmurings of her mother, who sat next to Seth. Stretching out, she glanced at the clock, noticing that it was almost midnight.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Leah asked, still fuzzy from sleep.

"I'm reading Seth his favorite story. Look how happy it's making him. I think he'll be just fine." Returning to the page, Sue continued reciting the story of Little Red Riding Hood.

Leah was more observant than her mother and it didn't take long for Leah to see why Seth was smiling so hugely. "I'm going to go to bed, okay?" She told her mom, anxious to leave the room. Sue just waved her off.

"Go ahead, dear. This will all end as a Happily Ever After."


End file.
